


Unfair

by AngelynMoon



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, I don't know what else, Loss, M/M, Sad, Tissue Warning, Tragedy, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 13:10:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18235331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelynMoon/pseuds/AngelynMoon
Summary: Summary: It was just Unfair.





	Unfair

Summary: It was just Unfair.

\-----

There was no other way it could have ended, she realized with sorrow, no other way but tragedy.

"Alec." Izzy said softly, "It's time."

Alec looked at her, eyes red and irritated, but no tears fell, he had no tears left to cry, Izzy supposed.

Alec stood up from his seat on the bed, the bed he had never shared with Magnus. Alec hadn't gone back to the loft since it had happened, couldn't go back, too many memories of Magnus and their life together there for him to be comfortable. Izzy couldn't fault him, she knew that if she had lived anyplace other than the Institute with a lover and had lost them so tragically she wouldn't have been able to go back, there would be too many ghosts there and she'd feel too alone after sharing a space with someone else.

Izzy reached out to straighten Alec's suit jacket but he flinched away. Alec hadn't let anyone touch him since they had separated him from Magnus, since Magnus had died.

Izzy opened her mouth to say something but closed it, what could she say, what could make this better, help heal her brother's heart? 

Nothing. Nothing could right this wrong that had been done, not even the Angel could fix this.

For a moment Izzy felt angry, how unfair was it that Clary used Raziel's wish to bring back Jace, how unfair was it that she got to keep the love of her life and Alec didn't.

It was completely unfair, Izzy thought as she watched Alec walk down the hall, his freshly pressed suit bright in the empty halls, everyone else already where the funeral was being held.

Unfair that Alec had spent so long hiding, unfair that there had been so many obstacles standing in the way of the relationship he'd begun with Magnus, unfair that once it seemed that they were finally going to make, to get the happily ever after they both deserved this happened, that Magnus had died and left Alec alone. 

It was just so unfair.

Unfair that after all they had over come it had come to this, this moment where Alec was making his way to his lover's funeral.

It was unfair that Alec would never be able to marry Magnus, to call him husband and to be called husband.

Izzy followed behind Alec, watched him pause outside the doors of the building where Catarina had arranged to have the funeral at.

Alec would be the only not wearing black, even Izzy and the other Shadowhunters that would be in attendance would be wearing black in deference to Warlock culture, but Alec's only black suit had been bought and fitted by Magnus and Alec hadn't been able to bring himself to go back to the loft to get it, refused really.

"Alec?" Izzy asked, coming to stand next to Alec, but not placing her hand on his shoulder like she wanted to.

Alec closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, "I don't know if I can do this, Izzy." Alec whispered, it was the first thing Alec had said since it happened.

And what could Izzy say to that? What was there to say?

"Okay." Izzy said softly, "We don't have to." She offered.

"How can I not?" Alec asked, "It's.... it's his... his..."

"His funeral." Izzy finished for him quietly, "And it is okay, Alec."

"How is it okay?" Alec asked as he stepped away from the door to sit on the steps leading up to the building, burying his head in his hands, "How is it okay to not want to go to Magnus'... Magnus'..." Alec let out a harsh breath and still couldn't say the words.

"You're not ready to say goodbye." Izzy said softly as she sat down next to him, "It's okay, Alec."

Alec let out a gasping sob and let his head fall on Izzy's shoulder as more tears fell from his eyes and Izzy wrapped her arms around Alec's shoulders, tucking his head under her chin as best she could as he soaked her sweater with his tears, Izzy had thought Alec couldn't cry any more tears.

"I was going to marry him." Alec whispered, "I was going to spend the rest of my life as his husband, Izzy."

"I know, Alec, I know." Izzy answered, as she rubbed Alec shoulder comfortingly.

"Now all I get to do is spend the rest of my life loving him and wishing he was still here." Alec sobbed out, "I wanted to marry him, I still do."

Izzy felt her own tears spill from her eyes as she held her brother, "I know you do."

Alec sniffled and pulled away from Izzy after a moment.

"Alec?" Izzy asked as he stood up and turned to the entrance of the building.

"We... we should go in." Alec said without looking at her.

"Are you sure?" Izzy asked, reaching out to him.

Alec flinched away and Izzy realized that Alec didn't want comfort right now, that he was over being comforted for all that Izzy had always told him it wasn't weakness to need someone to comfort him, but Izzy supposed that Magnus had been the one he turned to for that once they'd begun dating.

Alec took a deep breath and opened the doors, entering the building with Izzy following behind.

It didn't surprise her that it fell silent at their entrance, didn't surprise her that nearly everyone turned to stare, what did surprise her was Alec.

Alec walked to the front of the room and anyone else might have stopped and sat down, Izzy had certainly expected to do so, to sit next to Catarina and Madzie in the front row with Clary, Jace, Simon, and Raphael that Izzy could name.

As she followed Alec towards the front she realized something, she realized that the suit Alec wore wasn't the white she had thought it was but instead a pale gold...

Alec was wearing gold at Magnus' funeral and Izzy felt a sob well up in her throat as she watched Alec step up to the open casket and reach into his pocket, pulling a small box from within.

For a moment Izzy held her breath, along with the rest of the room, she thought Alec would open the box, would place the ring within on Magnus' finger and she knew she couldn't be alone in that thought.

Instead Alec reached over and settled the velvet box beneath Magnus' folded hands, hand moving to caress Magnus' face one last time as he bent over to press a soft kiss over cold lips, thumb caressing the apple of Magnus' cheek as he puled away, tears falling freely now.

"Marry me?" Alec asked near silently and Izzy joined several people in letting out a sob but it was Jace that moved forward to pull Alec away.

Jace led Alec to sit next to Catarina and Alec let him, falling into the chair almost as though his strings had been cut, they sat silently through the service, and Alec didn't respond to any of the people that spoke to him and when the last of them left, leaving behind only those that were closest to Magnus.

"Alec?" Izzy said softly.

Alec turned to look at her.

"It's time to go now, Alec." Izzy said.

"I can't leave yet." Alec told her.

"Why not?" Jace asked gently.

"Magnus hasn't answered my question." Alec answered.

"Alec." Jace knelt in front of Alec, "Alec, Magnus isn't going to answer your question."

Alec stared at him blankly before he fell forward, head falling to rest his face on Jace's shoulder, "I know." Alec sobbed out, "I know. I should have asked him sooner." 

Jace wrapped his arms around Alec's shaking shoulders and held him, there was nothing he could say to that, was there?

Except, "He would have said 'Yes'." Catarina said softly, "He talked about it sometimes."

Catarina pulled something small from her pocket, "He bought this for you, it was being sized when he died and I... I knew that he'd never forgive me if I didn't make sure it got to you."

Alec pulled away from Jace and reached out to take the simple silver band that Magnus had chosen for him, Alec twisted the ring in his hand, looking at it with with tear filled eyes as he read the inscription within, 'I'm all for effort'.

Alec blinked and his tears fell down his cheeks as he slipped the ring onto his left hand ring finger, the ring fitting perfectly, Alec scrubbed at his eyes and hid his face in his hands as he began to sob harshly, Izzy and Jace settling on either side of him and wrapping him up in their arms as Alec sobbed, Catarina's own voice breaking as she said her goodbyes to Clary and Simon, murmuring and excuse about getting Madzie home, Raphael offering to go with her.

For all that Catarina and Raphael had known Magnus for longer and for all that they had loved Magnus, it had been a different sort of love, it was a different kind of loss that they were suffering, the loss of a friend, a father, mentor, different than what Alec had lost, Alec had not only lost a lover but a part of his future as well.

It was a hard thing to witness, a hard thing to understand, to accept when they were suffering from their own loss, and so they left Alec there, with Izzy and Jace and Clary, and Simon, left them alone in the empty building as part of a Warlock funeral was for each attending Warlock to join their magics together to burn whatever remained of the deceased Warlock, even dead Warlocks were powerful things, their bones and pieces used for unsavory types of potions, spells, and rituals.

Now there was nothing left of Magnus Bane but the memories he had created with others and a small simple silver ring that sat on the finger of a Nephilim.

A claim of ownership in death that remained unspoken in life.

It was just so unfair, wasn't it?

\----

A/N: I am so, so sorry, but I was inspired to write and I wrote this tragedy, and well, it's so sad, and I nearly cried and yes there were times when I wanted to have it be a fake death but I couldn't figure out how to do it so... you just have this sad sad work that I wrote at five in the morning in a little under two hours.


End file.
